Christmas & out of the mouth of babes 

I’ve been a single parent most of my kids lives, but esp in the last 6-7 years. This Christmas my 12 year old autistic son really acknowledge me as a single parent & how hard it can be. 

He tells me at times how he misses the old days and he reminisces of the memories he has of his daddy and me together and how we were a family. He doesn’t remember the bad times of course, the sneaking about, the depression I sunk into, he just knows we were together then we weren’t.

Today struck a chord in me. For the first time in 6-7 years I didn’t mourn the loss of my Christmas Eve ritual. My ex and I used to have our Christmas on Christmas Eve.  We would wrap the kids presents and placed them under the tree, drink santas milk and eat his cookies and leave a thank you note for the children. Then he would give me my gifts and I would give him his. This meant Christmas morning was all about the kids and their excitement. 

For so long I missed that routine. I’d go to bed crying, not because I missed the ex per say, but more that I didn’t have anybody to share the magic with. 

This year, it never fizzed. Nothing did. It wasn’t till my son said “Mom, are you ok this morning? You’re a single parent and it’s so not easy, thank you” my heart skipped a few beats. I didn’t think he even thought about me as being a single parent, as a child, I’m just mom.

On one hand it was nice to be acknowledged and the other i am praying this doesn’t lead to meltdowns or shutdowns because he’s concentrating on his dad and me not together. 

Overall tho, this Christmas was good. Everyone was fed and watered. Nobody complained about the food and my kids got to spend the day with our family in their own home so they were happy and relaxed. 
I hope you all had a great Christmas too and are coming around from those turkey food coma’s! 

WG xo 

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